Songs That Stick To Your Ribs: Vol. 1

Some songs come and go – sweet pleasures, but fleeting ones.

Others, they linger, wearing a groove in heart and brain that runs down the intersection of comforting and challenging.

These are some of those songs.

Off My Mind, Ryan Ross: It’s the plucked string at the beginning, I think. The insistent whang whang whang that reaches out to hook your attention just before the other guitars muscle in, rumbling and grumbling and trying to start a fight. And then about half-way through they settle down and start hammering out a quasi-hypnotic rhythm. I both do and do not want to know what the words are supposed to be; I’m curious, but also suspect context might ruin it.
 

 
If You’re in New York, The Grahams: I have more to say about Riverman’s Daughter, their most recent (and most amazing) record, but this is one of the songs I have been listening to obsessively. I have danced to this on subway platforms from Harlem to Brooklyn, and hummed along everywhere from the center of a swirl of autumn leaves on Central Park West to a rapidly thickening blanket of snow on 1st Avenue. It’s a country song, but it’s a got a city heart, and the city heart is full of joy.
 

 
Have a Cuppa Tea, The Kinks: From Muswell Hillbillies, but driven by the spirit of Village Green Preservation Society this is indeed an entire song about the role of tea in British society. I like to listen to it on my way to work while, yes, drinking a cup of tea.
 

The Kinks - Have a Cuppa Tea, 1972

 
Boys on The Radio, Hole: When Courtney Love is down, she’s down; but when she’s up, she’s radiant and ascendent and nothing can stop her. I am not going to lie, I wasn’t really a Hole fan back in the ’90s. But I’ve come to have an abiding love for Courtney Love in general, and this song in particular, and how it encapsulates how some of us are doomed to always love the boys on the radio, even if they are rotten to the core, and don’t love us any more. I also like to contemplate it as a counterweight to the Felice Brothers’ Radio Song; the other side of the coin, the darkness their romantic light chases away.
 
Hole--Boys On The Radio--Live @ Ottawa Bluesfest 2010-07-09

 
All My Things, SWiiiM: I like the build-up to the drops, the way the synths sparkle and shimmer, and then, whub whub whub, here it comes, trouble in paradise. I would have given all my things to you / I would have bought diamond rings for you. It was good, maybe, but now it’s gone bad. Maybe it was always a losing proposition, a missed connection that should have continued to be missed. It was better that way. Maybe.
 
SWIIIM - ALL MY THINGS - (DIRECTED BY CHRIS ACOSTA)

 
I Don’t Recall, Lavender Diamond: I just wrote about them last week, but I am bringing it back because the crystalline purity of Becky Stark’s voice is just that beautiful, and because this is another song I like to use to start the day. It is both wrenching and lovely, and – I am realizing just now – a song about heartbreak that is meant for grown-ups. If you’ve ever rolled over and realized half of you – your life, your plans, your feelings about important things like breakfast foods and appropriate places to sit at the movies – was abruptly missing, but you still had to fumble through your day and weren’t quite sure how to do it, here is a song to listen to while you figure it out.
 

 
Storm and Stress, Field Report: Go to a car. Put this on. Crank it up. Sit in the parking lot, watch the sun rise or set or the rain fall or the snow slowly pile up, and let it roll over you like a majestic steamroller.
 

We All Come to the Same Place, Rhubarb Whiskey: Because my people are the traveling kind; the ones who wander; who may or may not be lost, and if they are lost they probably like it that way; the ones who send me snippets of streetcorner moments, flashes of foreign trees, sunrises around the world, and more; the ones whose feet will never be wholly still; the ones for whom the roving dies hard.
 

Rock ‘n’ Roll Photog: Courtney Love/Hole

Jennifer has feelings about Courtney Love that she’d like to share with you.


I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS, OKAY: Courtney Love

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I have not always had a lot of feelings about Courtney Love. Let’s just be blunt and honest: I first learned about her because I was a Nirvana fan and she was Kurt Cobain’s wife. I was dimly aware of Hole – bear in mind at this time (1992) the only music magazine I read was Circus, and I got the rest of my music news from MTV, and then mostly from Headbanger’s Ball — but I didn’t have any particular opinions about her or their music. Following the release of Celebrity Skin in 1998, I would develop an appreciation for their sound, though even then I only really listened to the title track, and that on the radio. I always meant to buy the record, but never quite got there.

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Getting back to Nirvana for just a minute: I can tell you where I was, when I got the news that Kurt Cobain was dead. I was 19, and in college. It was a beautiful spring day. The grass was a particularly vibrant shade of green and the air was cool on my face. I wasn’t surprised – how long had we been watching him struggle? — but I felt like I had been punched in the heart. And next to my grief for him was grief for her, suddenly the most famous (soon to be infamous) rock widow of my generation. Since then I have watched, with the rest of the world, as she exploded and imploded, rising and falling in various measures.

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Which slingshots us back to 1998, to a record I didn’t listen to until three months ago, and, which, once I had heard it all, I was perversely glad I had put it off. Love’s own grief and rage and terror is in every line and note of Celebrity Skin, and I’m not sure I could have borne that, in 1998. Even in 2010 it’s a little bit difficult to listen to; my heart still clenches at I had to tell them you were gone, because she did, and she paid bitterly for it, in many different ways.

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Which brings me to the new record and the band with new faces but the old name. Nobody’s Daughter is angry in some (different) ways, and contemplative in others. It is fierce and joyful and beautiful and sad all at once. As for the band, well, I have only ever seen Hole twice, both times this year, so again, let us be blunt and honest: these changes don’t bother me. But I wholly sympathize with the people who are enraged or disappointed (or both), or who may have other, more mixed feelings on the issue. I kind of feel the same way about the band currently calling itself Guns n’ Roses. I’m glad everyone involved is alive and well and making music but . . . that is not my Guns n’ Roses.

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That said, I am filled with a very particular kind of fierce joy, hearing Courtney Love sing again, hearing those big, loud, defiant, grungy chords rippling out through the speakers. My tiny black heart expands in a very specific way while she’s telling us mildly scandalous stories between songs, shutting down hecklers, and covering Closer for the express purpose of trolling Trent Reznor. Which, I would like to add, she did as a torch song, and blended it neatly into Man That Got Away by Judy Garland.

It’s not nostalgia – I am grateful, on a daily basis, to never have to be 20 ever again — as much as it is the delight of encountering a first love or an old friend in a new place. In 2008 I came back to being a rock fan after the better part of a decade spent away, and after two years in this sometimes baffling new musical reality, as much as I love the new sounds and the new faces, I retain a deep and abiding affection for the old ones, less seen but no less loved.

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And as for Courtney Love, all of this time that I didn’t really know her, I had missed her, and I didn’t realize it until I was standing in the pit last week. Now that she’s back, radiant and ascendant if periodically kind of wobbly, I hope her trajectory continues to be upwards, because I want to stand in the pit and sing with her again, and again, and again.

–Jennifer