This week, Jennifer illustrates one of the great swaths of music where her taste and mine definitely do not overlap by putting together a compendium of favorite Christmas tunes, both profound and profane.
(I’m sick to death of Christmas music [and hate “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer” with a passion]… but I love Dean Martin’s defining rendition of “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”.)
There are a lot of things I genuinely love about the winter holiday season: my city dressed in her shiniest lights; the tiny, tiny children dancing in the Nutcracker who can’t really dance yet and just wave at their parents; and Christmas music.
Yes, really. Not all of it, mind you; I have something of an allergy to any and all renditions of Santa Baby and Baby, It’s Cold Outside, as well as most of the wretched sappy seasonal dreck on the radio. The following is a round-up of my favorite seasonal tunes, presented in no particular order, and interspersed with festive seasonal pictures from northern Manhattan.
All I Want for Christmas Is You, My Chemical Romance: Or, as my sister and I like to call it, All I Want for Christmas Is (Your Liver) . I am not quite sure how he managed it, but somehow Gerard Way made this song menacing, the kind of thing you would listen to while contemplating how to have someone (over) for holiday dinner with some fava beans and a nice Chianti. Needless to say, I love it and listen to it year-round.
Angels We Have Heard On High, The Family Force 5 Christmas Pageant, Family Force 5 : The sweet Georgia crunk version of this song; includes breakbeats and the line put your wings in the air like you just don’t care. I don’t really have to say anything else, do I?
Christmas Drag, The Brobecks: Have the elves failed to bring you the object of your affections again? Then this is the song for you. It’s another one I listen to year-round because I just like it as a song, mostly for the thudding guitars. The Brobecks’ non-Christmas music is ALSO delicious; check it out if you like intelligent pop tunes.
St. Stephens Day Murders, from Bells of Dublin, The Chieftains/Elvis Costello: I was baffled by this song the first time I heard it, partially because I had no idea what St. Stephen’s Day had to do with anything, and partially because Elvis Costello mumbles. But really if you have ever had About Enough Family For One Day, Thank You, you too will sing along as he growls through and it’s nice for the kids when you finally get rid of them (RID OF THEM) in the St. Stephen’s Day Murders.
Carol of the Bells, from X Christmas, August Burns Red : I was a little bit wary of the whole collection at first, because hardcore Christmas carols, that sounds like it could be unfortunate. I plunged in, though, and this track, an instrumental version of this song, immediately became one of my favorite pieces of music, just for pure listening pleasure. There are shredding guitars and power-driving hardcore drums – you will want to bang your head – and they slam through the song with stunning and exacting precision, not wasting a single note.
Fairytale of New York, The Pogues: A classic, and for good reason. Shane McGowan and Kristy MacColl capture the two sides of New York in midwinter: the wind does go right through you, but the bells do also ring out. It’s what’s running through my head when I’m thinking cranky thoughts about That Stupid Tree in Rockefeller Center, and also when I’m navigating hushed, snowy streets.
Do You Hear What I Hear?, Bob Dylan: I’ve already told you about his version of Adeste Fidelis, which continues to be a thing of beauty and a joy forever. This is another track off the Christmas record he released last year, and is just delicious. There is nothing sappy or overwrought about his delivery, it’s just him and his scratched up voice, singing the song. It’s like a refreshing glass of cold water after too much over-sweet eggnog.
Oh Holy Night, from Christmas With Weezer, Weezer: I have four different versions of this song – The Chieftains, Harry Connick, Jr,, Sufijan Stevens, and this one – and Weezer’s version is currently my favorite. The guitars are pure Weezer, alternating between delicate picking and a big fuzzy roar, and Rivers Cuomo soars over them, giving the song both some real punch and a whole new life, in the process.
Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer, Elmo and Patsy Shropshire: The Greaseman, a DJ at DC 101 back in the Dark Ages when I was in high school, used to kick off every Christmas season with this song, and to this day it just doesn’t feel like Christmas until I’ve heard it on the radio. Or, as happened last year, heard someone singing it in the elevator in the subway.
And finally, some notable compilations and collections:
Excelsis: The Box Set , from Projekt: Three CDs of gothic/darkwave interpretations of traditional carols and songs. I bought the first one all the way back in 1995, and then lost it along the way. I was hunting for a digital download when I discovered they made two more, and decided to get all three. (They’re on sale!) They’re both mellow and delicately beautiful, and good to have on as quiet company for other tasks.
Songs for Christmas , Sufijan Stevens: There are five, count them, FIVE cds in this set. That is a lot of Christmas music, even for me, but if you dig his voice (I do) and his indie sensibility, it’s one-stop shopping for soothing respite from Top 40 irritations.
Xmas 11, by The Yobs, the seasonal alter ego of The Boys. They have several Christmas records; I just happened to stumble over this particular one in a record store on Bleeker Street in 1999. It is a collection of the most brilliant perversions of Christmas songs ever recorded. I would quote lyrics, but they’re unsuitable for a family newspaper blog. You can get a general idea here, start with “Oh Come All Ye Faithful”, and I’m really totally serious, these are NOT SAFE FOR WORK and you should send small children and anyone with delicate sensibilities out of the room. You may also have to consciously remind yourself not to sing their version of Guantanamera out loud in public.